Assumido

O psiquiatra, pessoa cativante transpirando cultura, referiu o meu erro, no início da nossa ligação mas não deixou de frisar o quanto não te assumes. Continuo sem entender como consegues manter um casamento, com sucessivas traições, tendo sido eu 1 das peças. Como me posso ter deixado envolver por esse olhar azul que agora vejo (e sinto) vazio?

A ti e em ti me entreguei. Ainda sinto dificuldade em escrever.

Abandonado, sem compreender que apenas fui um momento de prazer, ainda te tentei alcançar, nas fugas evidentes, durante as quais lançaste a teia a múltiplas presas. Penalizei-me e senti não estar à tua altura. O quanto me mutilei… Neste meu mundo apenas existiam pessoas dotadas de sentir!

Após sucessivas fugas, na escrita e no mensageiro, optei por tudo te dizer, numa das plataformas por ambos utilizada. Claro que, dadas as tuas características, o único meio apenas poderia ter sido um site de relacionamentos. Triste relatório de burrice o que me passaste. O teu medo passa por ser o primeiro a contigo se cruzar, na tua terra, com destaque e acção junto a membros da tua família.

Ainda não te esqueci, apesar de te odiar.

Queria saborear a vingança mas apenas tendo em afundar-me. Outros, como eu, não conheço e não sei brincar com os sentimentos.

Perco-me na rua mas o passo foi dado. Quanto à direcção…

Partida

Um mimo

Recebi o seguinte selo do Amigo Simbi , o qual agora atribuo a todos vocês, do meu blogroll.Não esqueçam de o passar aos vossos afectos, amantes dos blogues.

Uma saudação cordial também para todos os visitantes, sem blogue.

Com carinho,

Lost

O mesmo erro

So while I’m turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go

Hello, hello

There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but
My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go

Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo…

And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
Said “Have you seen my enemy?”
Said “he looked just like me”
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go

Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo…

I’m not calling for a second chance,
I’m screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don’t give me choice,
Cos I’ll just make the same mistake again,
[ Same Mistake lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo…

And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don’t buy the promises ’cause
There are no promises I keep,
And my reflection troubles me
So here I go

Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo…

I’m not calling for a second chance,
I’m screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don’t give me choice,
Cos I’ll just make the same mistake (REPEAT) again

Oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo…

So while I’m turning in my sheets

And once again, I cannot sleep

Walk out the door and up the street

Look at the stars

Look at the stars, falling down,

And I wonder where, did I go wrong.

James Blunt – “Same Mistake”

Sempre o Sol

How many times have you woken up and prayed for the rain?
How many times have you seen the papers apportion the blame?
Who gets to say, who gets the work and gets to play?
I was always told at school, everybody should get the same

How many times have you been told, if you don’t ask you don’t get?
How many liars have taken your money, your mother said you shouldn’t
bet?
Who has the fun, is it always the man with the gun?
Someone must have told him, if you work too hard you can sweat

There’s always the sun
There’s always the sun
Always, always, always the sun

How many times have the weathermen told you stories that made you laugh?
Y’know it’s not unlike the politician and the leaders when they do
things by half
Who gets the job, of pushing the knob
That sort of responsibility you draw straws for, if you’re mad enough

There’s always the sun
There’s always the sun
Always, always, always the sun

Stranglers – “Always the sun”

Aquele momento… nosso

Queria não te ter conhecido!

I touch myself

The man I love

Ilusão

Numa sms ele escreveu: -”Estou a sentir-me muito bem. Não te quero criar ilusões.”

A incompreensão voltou a apoderar-se de mim. Dizia sentir-se bem, na sua vida heterossexual, como se uma orientação sexual se abnegasse. Por outro lado, por que razão, no seu Hi5 e Netlog predominam os contactos masculinos, as mensagens nas quais lhes deixa beijos (mesmo que de amizade)?… E a sua mulher, como pode não ser conhecedora de tal situação?

Quanto à “ilusão” que não me quer criar… Apenas agora o diz? Porquê? Aquela tarde, no sofá, e os intensos beijos de língua, acompanhados por sexo oral e todo um conjunto de preliminares não teve qualquer significado?

Sinto-me Perdido, sem, em contexto real, conhecer alguém que, assim como eu, seja diferente. Estou só, num momento da vida no qual descobri o meu poder para amar, dizendo não, definitivamente (creio), à fobia social que de mim se apoderou, durante anos.

Amigos do passado

Ontem entreguei-me a pensamentos pouco louváveis…

Merecedores ou não dos mesmos, no passado tive dois amigos que, ao tomarem conhecimento da minha orientação sexual, afastaram-se, ao que tudo indica, para sempre. Ela, bióloga, considera a homossexualidade uma deficiência. Ele, Professor Doutor, vê nos homossexuais masculinos aqueles que o olham com desejo, sentindo repúdio.

Estranho mas real…

Casamento gay

Relação no mundo dos nadas

Father
It’s not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You’re still young, that’s your fault,
There’s so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I’m happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it’s not easy,
To be calm when you’ve found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you’ve got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

Son
How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
It’s always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Father
It’s not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
You’re still young, that’s your fault,
There’s so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
if you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I’m happy.

Son
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I’d agree, but it’s them you know not me.
Now there’s a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Father and Son – um original de Cat Stevens

Os meus olhos

Deep in my heart, there’s no room for crying,
But I’m trying to see your point of view
Deep in my heart, I’m afraid of dying,
I’d be lying if I said I’m not

Welcome in, welcome in,
Shame about the weather
Welcome in, welcome in,
It will come
It’s a sin, it’s a sin,
Where birds of a feather, are welcome to, land on you

Ya ya yay, ya ya yay
You’ve got my eyes
We can see, what you’ll be, you can’t disguise
And either way, I will pray, you will be wise
Pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes

As each day goes by, it makes way for another,
We discover that we’re not alone
And each day we try, the best we can to recover,
All the feelings that we left below

Welcome in, welcome in,
Shame about the weather
Welcome in, welcome in,
You will come
It’s a sin, it’s a sin,
Where birds of a feather, are welcome to, land on you

Ya ya yay, ya ya yay
You’ve got my eyes
We can see, what you’ll be, you can’t disguise
And either way, I will pray, you will be wise
Pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes

Welcome in, welcome in,
Shame about the weather
Welcome in, welcome in,
You will come
It’s a sin, it’s a sin,
Where birds of a feather, are welcome to, land on you…

Ya ya yay, ya ya yay
You’ve got my eyes
We can see, what you’ll be, you can’t disguise
And either way, I will pray, you will be wise
Pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes
Pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes
Oh, pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes

Travis – “My Eyes”

É sempre importante

O amor está no ar